VOODOO MOON and SLAYER

VOODOO MOON and SLAYER
By M. Jarvis

Oh goodie! More straight to video titles starring a bunch of rejects from the horror convention circuit who show up for one day of a shoot and get star billing. Sigh. How many more of these do I have to sit through before one of them is really cool?

Back in the day when people were churning out the low budget schlock for Corman and the Drive-Ins you felt that despite the lameness that everyone was aiming higher. Not to be one of those “things were better in the old days” guys but I am sorry Kevin Van Hook, the writer and director of both of these flicks, is no Jack Hill. Nor is he the next Jonathan Demme…or William Girdler…or anyone memorable.

This is probably my biggest problem with stuff like this. Much like the drek that Mark Altman cranks out, you sense that Kevin knows and loves his genre. There’s a lot of imagination in the story ideas but like Altman, the execution is all cliché characters, dreadful (and not in a funny, on purpose way) dialogue…and in the case of these two entries, some of the absolute worst cinematography and lighting choices I have ever seen in a low budget film that has enough money to not look like shit. There was one hilarious close-up where there was this highlight on this one actress’s hair which had no origin whatsoever in the master shot it cut to. I mean everybody cheats with this sort of stuff but COME ON! Definitely amateur hour in the D.P. department.

As for the stories themselves, Van Hook is ambitious. Slayer is sort of a PREDATOR meets FROM DUSK TIL DAWN-ish mish-mash about a bunch of soldiers led by b-vet Casper Van Dien(who still deserves better than to be in films like this) who come up against vampires in the jungle. Voodoo Moon is reminiscent of WARLOCK with rival wizards going at it in the cornfields. Both films have lots of cameos from B/C/D list legends like Jeffrey Combs and Dee Wallace.

There’s no point in going further because if films like this aren’t going to go the extra mile to better at the schlock that we all truly crave than why should I. Come on guys. I have low expectations. I’m an easy sell. Why’s it so hard for you folks to deliver?