Texas Chainsaw Massacre at the Egyptian Theatre
      Saturday, August 9, 2003

     
      What can I say? I was overwhelmed with joy at the prospect of seeing the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the big screen; seeing as how it came out well before my birth. I asked my buddy  Larra along and after getting extremely lost, we finally got there. You’d think I’d be able to find Hollywood Blvd. by now, but then again, that would be assuming I am able to follow directions.
      We weren’t there long before the mayhem began. Tobe Hooper came out to introduce the film briefly, but not much time was wasted getting down to business. I’ve seen TCM more times than is probably sane, but every single time I marvel at its pure horrific goodness, and its pure comedic genius; I could watch Jim Siedow poke girls with sticks all day long. Not to mention the now infamous line, “Look what your brother’s done to the door?!”
      After the film, Tobe Hooper was invited back up front to be grilled (no pun intended) by what is most likely the slowest speaking man in existence. Tobe seemed just as bored as we did as he sat through several of the same grueling questions about TCM that we’ve all heard in every interview done with him since the ‘70s. Eventually, Captain Sleepy Speak opened the discussion up to the audience, and the good times began.
      I can’t even begin to tell you everything that was asked, but I did learn a few key tidbits. That if Tony Hooper would ever get around to editing, there would be an All American Massacre. And that Mr. Tobe himself just wrapped on his own remake of the Toolbox Murders, which may or may not use the original title. As for his take on the upcoming remake of TCM, which he wrote the script for, “It could be good…..or not.” Hmmmm….that seems to be the general consensus.
      Larra and I didn’t necessarily follow the crowd around Mr. Hooper to the lobby; it’s more like we were pushed through the doorway with a plop. I must say, Tobe Hooper is super nice, smells of baking cinnamon rolls, and is very soft and cuddly. You can’t ask for better from someone of his caliber. Don’t forget to check out the truly terrifying photo of him and me. I’m not sure what’s more frightening, being next to the great Tobe Hooper, or the stupid face I made in that photo.
      Also hovering about was Angela Bettis, who appeared in Bless the Child and Girl Interrupted. She’s also in Tobe’s upcoming Toolbox Murders remake. Another surprise lurker in the crowd was Mr. Bill “Choptop” Moseley of TCM2 and House of 1,000 Corpses. He was kind enough to pose for a few photos. Check out “The Mose” with Larra, and also some kick ass pics of Bill with Tobe himself. And of course, you must check out Bill's website. Good times.
      Oh but the horrific goodness does not end there. As we were enjoying being lost yet again, we nearly ran over a familiar face crossing the street. It was none other than Udo Kier, portrayer of numerous vampires throughout the years. (I.E. Blade, Suspiria, etc.) And so ends the tale of another horrific night in Hollywood. “Rest well, I’m most likely to kill you in the morning.”
-Aine