Ghastlee’s Scary
Camp – Dayton, OH - May 28-30th
Thursday, May 27th:
Got up disgustingly early to get to LAX on time, boarded plane
and calmly read Self Mutlation 2 from Splat Books. When I was
leaving the plane, a super dork in the form of an old man proceeded
to give me the third degree about the book I was reading, he’s
from Dayton, I know this, and so does the entire plane. His
family just hung their heads in embarrassment. And then I was
off, to find my next plane at the Minneapolis airport. Who had
any idea that this airport was so HUGE? I had to go down three
hallways, up an elevator, two more hallways, and then take a
shuttle, and one final hallway just to catch my next flight
by the skin of my teeth.
Not much happened until
I was preparing to land in beautiful scenic Dayton, I got a
funny feeling once I noticed the sideways rain spilling onto
my windows. Still, my little crappy plane managed to land in
the monster storm and into the airport I went. There I met Miss
Suzie, the tall one, and we waited for the arrival of Mr. Sid
Haig. Then we waited some more, and guess what? After that,
we waited some MORE! It seems Sid’s flight was supposed
to get in BEFORE mine, but for some reason known only to the
pilot, they had to circle the airport until they needed fuel
first. Then they had to fly to Columbus to refuel, and then
fly back to Dayton. Well after an hour later, we were finally
able to collect the Sid man and be on our merry way.
On our stroll to baggage
claim someone who was quite possibly related to “The Governator”
made an 
announcement,
“Come to the security gate now!” Scary much? We
then took our merry band to baggage claim where we met Mr. Ghastlee
himself, and his lovely wife, Suspira. We piled into a tiny
car and headed to the hotel in a blinding rainstorm. Note: Just
once I’d like to be at a show in Ohio where the weather
is nice, I know it’s possible…oh, some day.
The rest of the evening
is somewhat of a blur. I know at some point we ended up at the
hotel restaurant, and that we did indeed consume food. I remember
being vaguely entertained by Sid Haig’s infinite knowledge
of tropical fish, and then there was sleeping.
Friday, May 28th:
Ahhh…yes, looking for food in Dayton. Myself and Ken from
Hollywood Book
and Poster took a leisurely stroll into the heart of downtown
Dayton in search of some form of sustenance. We found, “The
Breakfast Club,” a not so bad little place that serves
nothing but breakfast all day long. And I must say, the hash
browns are most excellent. All this talk of food is making me
hungry, but I digress.
Ken
and I then located the items we needed from the show and several
large carts to wheel them on. We corralled the Sid-man and slowly
wheeled our booty across the street to the convention center
to set up.
While setting up Sid’s
table I met a wonderful man by the name of Andy Copp, he offered
me donuts, what a nice man; I sure love donuts…perhaps
I should have been frightened, oh well.
The table set up, and the
beverages for the day obtained, I planted my ass in a chair
and awaited the swarm of horror fans to arrive. And ok, it was
pretty slow, but it’s a Friday afternoon, and it is Ghastlee’s
first year, so go easy. I flittered about the show talking to
various acquaintances and hotties, particularly Alex Vincent
of the Child’s Play films and Bill Hinzman from the original
Night of the Living Dead. As usual I ran into Tom Sullivan,
and we briefly discussed cats, yay for kitties. The Splat Books
people were there and I advise you to check out their website
if you are as of yet uninitiated, and I say that not just because
I will be in their next book, Self Mutilation 3, but because
they are awesome and they smell nice too. And then there was
eating and sleeping.
Saturday, May 29th:
Saturday, the biggest day of a three day convention, and damn
it, I was prepared. I awoke early enough to both shower and
scarf down some sort of French Toast-like concoction before
I had to set up. I ran into Alex Vincent on the way there and
was momentarily overwhelmed by his cuteness, but there was work
to be done, so I gathered all my will power and departed from
him, heading to my other duties. I found a Pepsi machine, I
was happy.
Robin Griggs came in, and
she sells neat horror novelty soaps, go figure. I’m fond
of the Rosemary’s Baby soap. I must now say, since this
is the time that my brain has chosen to remind me of it, that
at some point over the weekend, we were all walking around Dayton
when we discovered a woman with a baby Arctic Wolf cub; how
often does that shit happen?! Be sure to check out the super
cute photo of Suzie with the little cub. And now back to our
regularly scheduled programming.
Today
Bill Hinzman was
in his zombie get up, make up and all and we took full advantage
of the super groovy photo op. Sitting next to Hinzy was the
always lovely, Kyra Schon. Ken Kish and his wife Pam had a booth;
you may remember them as the awesome folks from Cleveland who
put on the Cinema Wasteland show twice a year. Don’t forget
to keep an eye out for their next show this October where they
will have The Last House on the Left reunion; sweet!
Hmmmm…what else? Well,
there was a rather attractive man with long hair running around
cracking a whip and carrying various paddles around with him.
Random spankings were rampant throughout the day. It was a very
long day, and we were very very hungry by the end of it.
A large group of us, comprised
mostly of the Splat Books
crew, headed to the local Spaghetti Warehouse for dinner, and
we took over the place. Joe Knetter and his wife, Matt and his
wife, Stacy and his wife and son, Suzie, Sid Haig, me, Ken,
and Alex Vincent. I’m too lazy to count how many that
was.
I was seated at the lonely
end of the table, just me, Ken, and Alex Vincent. As we plotted
our takeover of the world and laughed at things like lasagna
layers and oversized beverage containers, we could hear the
bellowy sounds of Sid Haig from further down the row, followed
by hysterical laughter. No doubt he was telling another tale
of tropical fish, or perhaps the reason why toilets don’t
flush properly, or perhaps a lecture on the building of Anvil
cases; whatever the case, with Sid, you know it was good.
After the spaghetti was
consumed we all waddled away and went to Ghastlee’s party
at the hotel. Unfortunately, I am very lame and missed most
of the party because I opted to leave early and go watch The
Ring with Alex. The tales I have heard involve much drinking
and embarrassing karaoke moments: I only wish I had been there
with my camera.
Sunday, May 30th:
The length of the weekend has started to get to me by this point,
so many conventions, so little time. Set up was quick and easy,
and the only real annoyance of the day was the amount of young
soccer playing kids running around the hotel. All of them were
curiously blonde, and definitely evil, perhaps they are Stepford
people.
At some point, Andy Copp
and his cohorts talked Mr. Haig into a staring contest with
a skinny kid who is obviously
the butt of all their jokes and pranks. Each contestant was
assigned a “manager,” which consisted of scantily
clad women who did their best to distract the opposing side
by gyrating, grinding, and whatever else suited them at the
time. Unfortunately for the skinny kid, Sid is the master of
many things, including peripheral vision, and without breaking
his gaze, he uttered the famous words, “your manager’s
got a great ass.” It did the trick, the opponent’s
concentration was broken, and Sid was proclaimed the winner;
as if there was ever any doubt. Somewhere this entire ordeal
is on video.
The rest of the day passed
quickly in the convention center, and before I knew it, it was
time to pack up the gear and get it ready to be shipped back
to California. The hour of packing and taping boxes also passed
quickly, and we again went in search of food. So much time was
spent searching for food, I felt like I was in Lord of the Rings
on an elaborate quest. Weak with hunger, and lazy, we returned
to the Spaghetti Warehouse and were again dazzled by Sid Haig’s
infinite knowledge of the world. I don’t know how he could
possibly know all the things he does, but “Hooray for
Captain Spaulding, the African Explorer!”
Monday, May 31st:
No, no…anything but more airports and airplanes. Sadly,
it was time to go home. Ken, Suzie, Sid, and I all had different
flights, but since there was nothing else to do, we all headed
to the airport together. All 
but
Ken had decided to wear their Ghastlee’s Scary Camp shirt
that day, it was quite odd. Eventually, a curious airport employee
came over to ask what it was all about, and Sid told her. I
just giggled to myself; the lady had no idea who he was. Mwahahahahahaha….things
like this amuse me greatly, I am odd I suppose.
We then gathered at the
Cinnabon together to feast upon sweets and orange juice, when
who came rushing over, but Alex Vincent. His flight was later
than he thought, so he joined our merry band. After much Nintendo
playing and face-stuffing, it was time to part ways. First up
were Alex and Ken, together on the same flight, away the sweet
boys went. The unholy trilogy remained: Sid, Suzie, and me.
After some more bull-shitting,
and some vague conversation about snot, we lost the Sid man.
Suzie and I then spent the next several hours chatting about
girly things and mocking the airport announcements (Hey, you
try sitting in an airport for 5 hours and see what kind of sense
you make.) Then it was time for Suzie to leave me all alone.
We parted ways and made promises to party again soon, and I
then made my lonely way to the gate in the furthest depths of
Dayton Airport hell. Two hours later, I myself, flew away, back
to sunny California. Sleepy, hungry, and satisfied.
There are a lot of horror
shows in the state of Ohio, and there has to be a reason behind
it. I’ll just have to attend more of them to try to find
the root of all the evil. Until the next show, kiddies, stop
playing with that thing, you KNOW where it’s been!
-Aine
(PS: Don't forget to check out the rest of our
Scary Camp pictures below!)
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