ROB ZOMBIE'S HALLOWEEN

ROB ZOMBIE’S HALLOWEEN

by M. Jarvis

I’m not opposed to remakes no matter how absurd. And this one is pretty much the most absurd. Why on earth would anyone want to remake Halloween? For the same reason people remade BLACK CHRISTMAS, WHEN A STRANGER CALLS, ETC. ETC. For Money of course. The real question is why remake-hater Rob Zombie would step into the fray. Perhaps he figured that someone was going to do it no matter what so it might as well be him.

I’ve never really been a huge fan of the original. Not that Carpenter’s film is bad. It is a masterpiece but it’s a masterpiece of a genre that I’ve never much cared for…the indestructible teen slasher genre which it basically created. Putting it another way, I could give a shit about Halloween or whether or not it was re-made. I agree that it’s seemingly a pointless exercise but since someone of note went to the trouble, I guess attention should be paid.

Rob Zombie does an okay job in the early part of the story showing how young Michael began his descent into madness. Michael is an outcast from a dysfunctional family. His mother (Sheri Moon) is a stripper trying to be a good mom. His stepfather (amusingly played by William Forsythe) is a rude drunk. His sister is a sex-crazed teen. Eventually Michael decides its time to move on from killing small animals and up to bigger game. He chooses Halloween night to slaughter most of his family. After that he is sent to a nut house where Dr. Loomis, this time played by Malcolm McDowell, tries to reach out to the troubled boy. Needless to say, it doesn’t work out.

After these early scenes, the new Halloween pretty much apes the old. The difference is that every character is just a cartoon. Not that that’s a bad thing for this reviewer. Ken Foree’s afro wearing trucker was particularly amusing.

I guess if I was more of a loyalist for the original film, this is where my bitching would begin. But as I’ve already stated that I don’t care, I found myself kind of enjoying the rest of the film. The violence was refreshingly (in this vapid PG-13 world) brutal and there were some legitimate jump scares. There was even some (gasp) nudity. . My expectations being low, this was good enough for me. Maybe this is where the divide on this film and others like it is.

The film was a big hit which shows that the public at large doesn’t mind that this film exists. Likely most people of the current generation haven’t even seen the original. I myself am not bothered by this remake’s existence. If you are, feel free to be. But remember even Carpenter himself re-made the Thing…and it was arguably better than the original. Perhaps the failure of the new film is that where Carpenter’s remake was fully fleshed out, Zombie’s remake feels like more of a tribute. The telling moment is when Michael digs up his mask and the old Halloween theme explodes on to the soundtrack. The less demanding audiences of today cried out “Yeeaaahhhhh!!!!” The rest of us groaned. I myself felt nothing.

I guess in conclusion I’ll say that this one is probably a like it or hate it proposition for most people. For me, I enjoyed it enough but ultimately it had the same effect as the original. I saw it and then it left my mind. I still could give a shit. As for Rob Zombie, I think it’s time to go to something new or return to world of the Rejects. There’s clearly an appetite for his vision, it would just be nice to swallow something other than leftovers next time around.