House of 1,000 Corpses
By Aine

“Well shit the bed!” That’s become a popular saying among horror lovers these days; ever since the DVD release of Rob Zombie’s House of 1,000 Corpses. The phrase, perfectly quipped by the legendary Sid Haig, is just one of the many colorful things said in the film.

Knock it if you will, knock it if you must, but I think that House of 1,000 Corpses is one of the best original horror movies to come out in years. It was a welcome relief after all the crap coming out that’s calling itself horror, and who would know more about good horror than Rob Zombie himself.

This movie is twisted and funny at the same time, bringing together a perfect blend of horror and hilarity. I fell instantly in love with Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) and his mask-wearing sidekick Ravelli (Irwin Keyes), despite my strong distrust of clowns.

Our main victims are designed for mutilation; especially the girls, whom I instantly despised. The two young couple goes meddling in the local lore and find themselves broken down in the middle of nowhere. Conveniently, or so it seems, the hitchhiker they’ve picked up lives nearby, and her brother just happens to own a tow truck. We are then introduced, one by one, to the Firefly clan, which consists of: Baby (Sheri Moon and Mrs. Rob Zombie), Mother Firefly (Karen Black), Rufus Jr. (Robert Mukes). Tiny (Matt McGrory), Grandpa Hugo (the late Dennis Fimple), and last but certainly not least, Otis B. Driftwood (Bill Moseley, our favorite albino psycho-killer and sayer of many a cool line.

Now sometimes the crazy, murderous family thing doesn’t work, but other times it SO does. Such is the case with Corpses, as well as Sid Haig’s classic Spiderbaby over forty years ago.

Another excellent thing about Corpses is the creative ways in which the victims are dispatched: scalped, dressed in animal costumes, and buried alive and even turned into a modern work of art as the beloved Fishboy. There’s also a good old fashioned skinning.

There has been some controversy about the scene where a police officer is shot in a long, slow-motion wide shot. As Slim Whitman’s “I Remember You” ends, we are forced to wait in uncomfortable silence for nearly a full minute before he is shot and falls slowly to the ground. Personally, I liked the scene and thought it added intensity to the moment, but I know many will disagree with me.

Towards the end things get downright strange in an underground series of tunnels, where Dr. Satan lives and carries on his twisted experiments on human victims. I have to say I really didn’t care much for this part of the film and found myself longing for more scenes with Captain Spaulding, but a little birdy told me there will be more of him to come in the sequel. I can barely contain my excitement.