THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2006

THE HILLS HAVE EYES (2006)
By Larra

Scorpions, rattle-snakes and mutants, oh my!

Updated from the 1977 Wes Craven classic, complete with a gas-guzzling Chevy Suburban and a renovated Airstream trailer, retired cop Bob Carter (Ted Levine) is taking his family; wife Ethel (Kathleen Quinlan), new mother Lynn, son-in-law Doug, son Bobby and Daughter Brenda (Emilie de Ravin) on a road trip through the California desert. Little does he know that he is actually taking them on an adventure into the bowels of hell.

Upon a stop for gas, the attendant gives Bob directions for a ‘shortcut’ which leads to a desolate dirt road that goes, you guessed it, nowhere. As in the original, the tires are blown and mayhem ensues. As all good men should, Bob and his teenage son Bobby (Dan Byrd) break out the firearms and vow to protect the flock. But one thing that they weren’t counting on was a family of creative cannibalistic mutants.

As dusk falls, the Carters are tormented by the cretins and one by one they are maimed, mutilated and some are murdered.

Finally! A re-make worth seeing! Although NOT worth standing in line for 2+ hours at some Hollywood theater that can’t seem to get it’s shit together!

With throwbacks to the horror films of old and clichés that never go out of style (when done right), The Hills Have Eyes is a must for anyone who has seen the original and was always wanting to go a little farther into the history of the mutants.

There’s a new breed of monster in town!