DEAD CLOWNS

DEAD CLOWNS
By Aine

Well what can I say about Dead Clowns? It hasn’t been released in the US yet, but you can get it on DVD from the UK if you have a multi-region player. The coolest part about the disc itself is the massive amount of trailers for other low budget horror goodies. As for Dead Clowns itself, I am perplexed.

I was very excited to see this movie, which explains why I went to great lengths to secure a copy, after I saw a trailer for it at a screening recently. The cast includes horror greats such as Brinke Stevens, Eric Spudic, Robyn Griggs and Debbie Rochon. Add to that the fact that this is basically the plot of THE FOG only with zombie clowns instead of angry pirates, and it sounds like a winner.

I’d explain the plot, but most of you probably have seen THE FOG. Though instead of seeing fog, people hear calliope music on the wind, signaling the ghosts of the angry circus clowns whose bodies were left to rot at the bottom of the bay. Since I am absolutely, 100% terrified of clowns, I was totally game for this.

Debbie Rochon did a good job as “tormented woman” and Eric Spudic was, well…delicious as a handicapped dead clown appetizer. Oh yeah, I guess I should mention the main thing that separates it from THE FOG is that these clowns also eat their victims. I can’t say I enjoyed Brinke Stevens’ performance as the, well, I guess her character was there to explain the myth of the dead clowns pretty much, but it just came across as boring and obvious. There was also a scene which was a direct theft from ZOMBIE where the zombie clown ever so slowly shoves a sharp device into a woman’s eyeball, sound familiar?

Of course all a clown ever wants is to be appreciated, (SPOILER WARNING): so someone gets the bright idea of adding a sign on the beach that offers a memorial to the clowns, sadly he’s so inept that he writes it with a marker. Once the rain washes the ink off the sign, the clowns start right back to feasting on the town. And what perplexed me the most was the lack of screaming. I know that screaming can be over-done in horror films, but not one single character screamed once even if they were being eaten, stabbed, scared or chased…nothing…silence! It was maddening; I wanted to jump into the movie and scream at them to show how it’s done.

All I can say is, this movie could have been great, and it wasn’t a total bore; after all, there were zombie clowns. But I’d have to say that you should proceed with caution, as this movie seems like it’s not finished yet, even though it supposedly is. Watch it for the clowns, or for Debbie Rochon, even though she never screams. Or if you like lots of gore, then please, check it out. It was a fun idea, but overall it disappoints, at least for me, and I’m not that picky.