AQUANOIDS

AQUANOIDS
By Aine

Well by the title you can probably guess that this is another movie involving underwater creatures on a rampage. Since underwater creatures are seriously peeved and must kill all humans for no reason. But who needs reason when you’ve got a seriously cool looking half-man, half-fish Aquanoid swimming around picking off the locals. Think of a creature flick on the Sci Fi Channel but with all the gore and nudity and sex that you never get to see put back in.

I won’t lie and say this is fine cinema, or even that it’s well acted, because it’s not. What it is is a fun time, especially if you’re a fan of the water creature sub-sub-genre. Aquanoids blatantly “borrows” shots from Jaws, Piranha, and other similar films, but it does them well and half the fun is picking them out.

I also enjoyed other references put in by writer Eric Spudic, such as a scene where teenage characters gather around to discuss bad water-related horror movies, some so obscure that even I didn’t remember them. Other fun things to look for are characters named for Matthew Jason Walsh, and Wicked Pixel head honcho Eric Stanze. See how many you can find.

Now for the perplexing: at random intervals when people would speak, you couldn’t hear them, you could just see their mouths moving. I guess it’s possible it was supposed to be that way, but somehow I doubt it. Also, some of the editing was plain old strange, particularly a sex scene in mid-movie that had pretty much nothing to do with anything. I get that they were trying to show how a certain bad guy got a hold of a tape from the reporter, but it just came across as weird and confusing. My final gripe would be that the guns looked like plastic toys, and I guess they were special sneaky guns or something because whenever someone fired them they never made a noise. Even a gun with a silencer on makes SOME noise, perhaps they forgot to add the sounds in post production, we’ll never know.

If you can overlook the things I just mentioned, and you’re game for lots of T & A, sex, and senseless violence, then Aquanoids is for you.

PS: The Aquanoid looked cool!